Tuesday, January 25, 2011

When life gave me lemonade!

When life gave me lemonade... i would have just squeezed it into the eye of the person who screwed it all... and perhaps that person would be myself. Having waited for 300 days with patience anticipation and courage... just to know i have to start from ZERO level is really a heart breaker. you may call it as a result of procrastination but certainly i felt i did much better. n i did but well i should have listened to my inner conscience.

Many a times life leaves us confused with either many options open or none... just when you thought you saw light thats when you realize the dark edge around it... just when you thought u know whats right you start to weigh your doubts on it. I thought i knew what i wanted but now, instead , i feel i don't know myself at all. Aren't hard times suppose to make us stronger? aren't they suppose to give us EXPERIENCE? but here i am .. experienced at things that i shouldn't be and to hell with in what i should be! Isn't it suppose to mold you into a person you will become one day? ... but well at the rate of how i am going i can so see who i will be when i grow older.. in fact i even have an image of myself after 10 years from now...  (blanks out).......
.........................and then i say to myself... "This thought should go away... they don't belong to my mind" because the seeds i sow in my mind  today i will reap it one day... and it will be so not AWESOME instead it will all be whithered all to be thrown ... useless n unwanted  this makes me feel so so sad, its like foreseeing a nightmare ... i don't think anyone will want that to happen.

To start afresh is difficult because who wants to start from the basics again but to think of it its a way to recover the mistakes you have done  or your ignorance, another chance to work harder than you did before .... a chance we all want at least once in life ... a chance to prove that no failure can stop you from moving on .. its something only few people get... i might be among one of them but  i have been cursing it from day 1 but why take it as a BURDEN when its a GIFT   Its the whole world that is in some kind of race n we are all busy running ... i don't understand what is it there that we have to hurry about, in the end the world will not count how long you took to achieve it but what you have achieved and of course we all have our own share.

If we want something we have to make it happen no matter what it takes and for that we need deep passion for what we want. Some people make it fast ...but  some like me take time who is still trying to figure out what to do in life. I'd love to belong to the former group of "Some"... but how??? this word "BUT" is screwing my life i wish i could squeeze lemonade on it too... if only it helps. The point is we are still learners n we will always be its just that we have to apply it in our works. Then maybe life will surly start to make sense to us and so will we to the world.I don't want to be rich or famous to the world , i just want to be famous in my family... and rich enough to look after them then maybe my name will be known by some people and my good friends ... and well i couldn't be a happier person. Thinking about all these makes me happy its just the phase i am going through ... cant wait for it to get over... but i am sure it will... it will have to and maybe i will even get to hear the word "CONGRATULATIONS" - the word that seems so distant to me right now.

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